Making authentic decisions.
The ones that come from our gut.
It is such a hard, hard thing to do.
Because it leaves us uncomfortably vulnerable. It asks us to choose courage. It asks us to lean hard on spirituality and a heavy dose of faith (whatever that means and/or looks like for you). And, sometimes it asks us to make a decision that isn't popular with the people who love us.
And it's been on heavily on my mind lately.
I chose "authenticity" as my guiding word for 2015 and since January, I've had many a moment where I have wanted to kick myself for choosing that word. Because it has asked me to show up. It has asked me to get on my hands and knees and dig for courage that I wasn't sure (still not sure) I had. But, I think there are things that choose us and aren't coincidence and they choose us because that thing is inviting good into our lives. Even if you have to squint your eyes at it because it isn't very clear right now.
And my, things are as clear as mud for me right now. There's been an insistent voice rumbling for months now. Quiet, but forceful. Always hovering. And lately, it's been reaching a fever pitch: Books, literature, circumstances, and people keep showing up in my life and they are forcing me to either choose to get still and listen hard to my heart or pretend I don't hear it.
And for awhile, I've sort of been ignoring them.
But, the thing about ignoring The Universe?
The Universe, well, She will get your attention. And it starts with a gentle nudge. Keep ignoring the nudges, and you'll finally get a loving kick in the pants.
I'll tell you right now - I'm full on getting a loving kick in the pants. And it hurts. And it is confusing. And I want to keep ignoring it.
But it smarts enough now that I can no longer ignore it.
I've got some big decisions that need to be made. Decisions about where my career is headed. What my truest purpose is. What my Soul Work is. About honoring my Truth. Where this journey is taking me.
And although I don't feel completely ready and it scares the ever-loving fire out of me, I am going to get very honest with you about making authentic decisions -
For a very, very long time, I have wanted to host a women's-only creative and restorative retreat.
Wow. There it is. I wrote it down and put it out there.
Which is big for me because -
I tried to shake it off.
I tried to talk myself out of it.
I bullied my intuitive voice and challenged my heart's desires.
I questioned myself. Belittled myself. Tried to hush the inner stirrings.
And felt (still feel) a tremendous dose of fear.
But, I am at a point in my life where I don't want the fear of uncertainty and "what ifs" to keep me from my truest, authentic Self.
So I am writing this today to help keep me accountable. To put it out there to the Universe that this will work out as it should. That the right hearts and the right souls will find their way and we will cross paths as we are meant to. To lean into the discomfort and the uncertainty. To let "What's worth doing even if I fail?" be my guiding question. To encourage you to do the same.
And here's the thing - you most definitely cannot ignore that inner voice when Life brings you a kindred Soul who voices the same desires. Therefore, I am joining the beautiful, uber-talented, and amazing Christina of Shaw Photography Company to host a women's-only creative and restorative retreat. We are in the early planning stages, and while it still scares the bejesus out of me, I am so, so happy and excited to be working with her.
If you feel a tug on your Soul for this kind of retreat, please email me with your contact information. And in the meantime, you can also visit and bookmark our webpage, Spirited & Whole, to find out more.
We would love, love, love to have you.
Sites I Dig
The Road is Home
The Seed & Plate
Sharon Covert Photography
The Define School
The Noisy Plume
Sarah Gee Photography
Fox & Owl Studio
The Stork and The Beanstalk
Mellow Yellow Photography
A Simple Little Journal
What I've Been Reading
The Girls by Emma Cline
A Land More Kind Than Home by Wiley Cash
Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
Never Broken by Jewel
Hold Still by Sally Mann