Lately, my head has been crammed full of irritating, negative self-talk. And it all has to do with my weight and my body perception right now. Because the last few weeks haven't been kind on my body, and if I'm being really honest, I got pretty lazy about eating well and exercising regularly. And it reached a pretty ridiculous point yesterday in a dressing room at Dillard's as I tried on clothes.
My head was saying all sorts of nasty things to my reflection.
But fortunately for me, in that mess of a dressing room and after pulling on clothing item after clothing item and feeling inadequate and self-judgy, some beautiful grace and mercy of the Universe intervened, took me by the ears, got my full attention and said, "Eff this! Would you say these horrible, awful things to one of your friends?"
Me: (slowly) "Nooooo...."
The Universe: "Then why would you talk to yourself like this?"
The Universe: "Here's the thing - progress, not perfection. Your body is AMAZING. It does all sorts of great things for you. You can run. You can practice yoga. You can walk your dogs and drive and run around and chase your nephews and you can get out of bed every morning by yourself. Give your body a break."
Well, then. That got my attention. Can I tell you how grateful I am that I have been on a journey of self-care long enough that I don't stay in those negative places as long as I used to? And how grateful I am that I have an incredible amount of support surrounding me? People who get it? Yeah, incredibly-to-my-marrow-grateful.
It doesn't excuse how I've been treating my body, but I know that we are seasons. That I need to be gentle with myself. And acknowledging that sometimes I'm going to do better about eating well and exercising, and sometimes I won't. And that my body isn't 20 years old anymore. And that it's going to change. And I will struggle.
And the most important thing: Feeling good is the goal.
I know I feel good when I am active - walking, running, and yoga make me feel good.
I know I feel good when I'm eating well - everything in moderation, choosing whole foods over processed, and cutting back on sugar.
I know self-care is crucial. That I feel good and balanced when I make myself a priority. That planning meals and prepping things ahead of time helps me eat better.
Today, I choose to be grateful for this body and the beautiful things it does for me.
We could all be a little more gentle with ourselves. Progress, not perfection.
Lots of love and encouragement to you, my friends.
Sites I Dig
The Road is Home
The Seed & Plate
Sharon Covert Photography
The Define School
The Noisy Plume
Sarah Gee Photography
Fox & Owl Studio
The Stork and The Beanstalk
Mellow Yellow Photography
A Simple Little Journal
What I've Been Reading
The Girls by Emma Cline
A Land More Kind Than Home by Wiley Cash
Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
Never Broken by Jewel
Hold Still by Sally Mann